cutting the flowers, the roots grow

๛.

The adventure is only beginning.

i usually inhabit the serpentine zig zag of my head,

focusing is a truly meticulous photographic art.

to focus and perpetuate the present like a hymn of praise.

Metaphorically it is the same as feeling my bones creak over a river full of water drooling all over my body.

The water entering my vagina; my head against the direction of the flow, is truly refreshing, a simple washing full of a stupid human perception of divinity.

Nature must think we are really stupid, that's what I thought yesterday while watching the cockroach in my room scurry down the wall. It disgusted me. I didn't know what to kill it with…the immense pincers, without direction, the zig zag projected there, once again.

Poor nature, how much we have projected onto it, being invasively creative..

Perhaps nature is also a little stupid because of us, and we are idiots as proof of it.

There is a very strange feeling in the precise moment of saying goodbye. It is nothing new, I remember it from always, from a long time ago. I have said goodbye many times and I still feel absurdly sensitive saying it again and again and again.

⫘⫘⫘

๛๛.

The boat is very dark even at dawn. We are creatures of windows, we need them. If there are none,

where does the light come in?

candles,

fire

heat

but, that is artificial.

The colored lights are fun, but I feel like I'm in a brothel and it's fantastic, how delicious it is to watch porn, much more so when it's vintage and amateur. Honestly I don't know why they demonize it so much, I like watching colored penises go in and out. Some very big, some very small, it's fun. I feel my bladder contract and my mouth drool, it's like going to a restaurant to eat.

I like to eat porn,

it is an appreciative art that few will truly understand. It's not just watching it to masturbate, the ending is not everything. The problem with things is not that they exist, the problem is that we don't know how to appreciate them with the heart. We have to fill everything with our mental filth and judgments, how terrible and magnificent, but that's how we are and well, so it must be and so it will remain.

I like to stay actively attached to the marvelous: that's why I love love and it's not hard for me to magnetize it. Well sometimes it is, there were moments in my life when I was alone, but they were a few months perceived as eternity.

what if I'm alone for many years?, oh no how dreadful.

Last night I dreamed of crystal-clear water. I was new in the place, I had no friends. How sad.

i feel sad i feel surrendered before my destiny, as if it were something very foreign

In general I have always felt existence as very foreign and at the same time very close. I have cried every day. I cry while I walk, while I bathe, when I brush my teeth and when I stroke my belly. I also feel a lot of enthusiasm. I am deeply moved by the colors of sunset, the first meal of the morning and the sound of the wind carrying from here to incomprehensible places those small brave leaves that decided to die before the others. I must hold on to it because I swore it to myself, I promised myself and a word must be respected, damn it.

New York was my seed, where I came and planted myself in the middle of this land so warmly humid, like my vagina. I know that's why it had to be here. something told me, they whispered it to me and so it was and I am very grateful to have listened.

thank you wet vagina for bringing me here to give birth

I will grow like a tree from here on.

home will always be home, and it will go with me wherever I go

⫘⫘⫘

๛๛๛.

I already miss you love, it's a see you later, see you later my darling. I love you madly because there is no other way to love you, and I will never stop loving with dementia, soaking my legs and my eyes and my mouth and even my ears completely. I will love until I explode liquidly with my blood, with my urine and my saliva. It is the only way I know how to love and the way I remember every piece of my life. Thank you life, here I am dying again, at your feet.